LAST MINUTE XMAS SHOPPING BY THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERICALS

24th December 2009

LAST MINUTE XMAS SHOPPING BY NORTHERN HEMISPHERICALS

"Now listen up.. before I do my final round of Merry Christmas greetings I have something to say to you Southern Hemisphericals (Southern Africans, Kiwis and Aussies.) It is this:
When you Southern Hemisphericals start to whinge that you have to drag yourselves out of the swimming pool to do some last minute Xmas shopping, in the heat, I want you to stop a minute and think about what the Northern Hemisphericals have to go thru to do some last minute shopping.

First, dress:
You throw on a cotton top, some shorts and a pair of slops. Preparation time 45 seconds.
It takes us longer to get dressed. Vest, sweatshirt, sweater, fleecy, gloves, long johns, socks, leg-warmers, jeans, scarf, teacosy hat, thermal socks and boots. So, about an hour later, we end up looking like the Michelin Man.

Second, logistics:
We go out to the car and do we get into it, turn the key and drive off? Do we ‘ekkerslike. Jolly horrocks to that...it takes us at least 15 minutes to get the car ready. First get out the ice-scraper and demister spray and turn the car engine on to get the heater and demister working whilst we scrape away at the iced windcreens and windows. (It can take even longer: some less environmentally aware baboons turn on the engine, go back into their warm houses and leave the engine to run for 20 minutes whilst everything defrosts.)
Then, when we get into the car do we blithely zoom off at a neighbour-endangering speed? No. we drive slowly away, slaloming down the road trying to avoid anything that looks like slick, icy patches.

So, when you are in your your cozzies, having already been to the shops, and are now jumping in and out of the pool, chugging ice drinks ... please spare a thought for us - we'll probably still be getting dressed.

Hugs x